I got new brakes on Thursday morning. Despite knowing for six months that I needed new brakes, I just got them on Thursday. Denial and avoidance are so real when it comes to depression and anxiety.
As I sat in the auto shop I completed this week’s bible study lesson for the class that I am co-teaching. One of the questions asked, “At what point in your life did you become aware of your inability to change your own sinful heart?” I wrote my answer without pause:
In 2016 as I battled severe depression; I wanted to be well and whole but I wasn’t.
I looked at that purple ink on the beige page and I realized just how strong of a hold depression had had on me. Yes, it led to more than a 70-pound weight gain in only a few months, but it also set my life on a course change that I was not expecting at all. I saw that my “cute” act of procrastination had blossomed into a full case of denial and avoidance, assuming that if a problem was out of my immediate sight, it was no longer a problem at all. That tag team of D&A led to more financial issues than a little bit and me waiting six months to get work done on my car. So today, Beloved, we are gonna talk about facing realities.
As with any #MondayMessage, I started this on Thursday right after my auto appointment but I picked it back up on Sunday…after the news of Kobe Bryant’s passing. I was in the dining room, watching the NFL Pro Bowl and blow-drying my mother’s hair when we heard the news at the beginning of the game. My heart ached then but it broke further when I learned of the other people who died in the crash, too: Gianna Bryant (Kobe’s 13 year-old daughter), six other people, and the pilot. Multiple families whose lives are now forever changed with the crash of a helicopter on a Sunday morning in California.
Sitting at my computer, I carried this news in my heart because it reveals the greatest reality that we must face: nothing lasts forever. The good doesn’t last forever but, thank God, neither does the bad. On Saturday morning God led me to this scripture that I want to share with you, Beloved.
” and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”Revelation 21:4
What is the greatest thing that has ever happened to you? Was it your wedding day? The birth of a child? Coming into a windfall of money? Maybe it was nailing that account at work that even you didn’t think you could land. What was that moment? How did it make you feel? Who did you share that good news with? Who celebrated that moment with you? But most importantly, how long did that moment last? We can try to hold onto that moment for as long as possible but eventually time passes and seasons change; the only constant in life is change.
Conversely, if you are in a season of pain or mourning/grief right now, understand this- this too shall pass. What I love about what John wrote in Revelation 21:4 is that we are reminded that even pain has an end date.
Isn’t that good news?
Something that you can rejoice over?
YES, yes, it is!
If I had a dollar for every time that I experienced pain or the like, then I would have different good experience to share. LOL! My pain did not come here to stay; it came to grow me… in Christ. By accepting that each situation in life has a greater purpose than we can immediately see, we are able to enjoy the moment that is in front of us and release it when it is time.
Depression and anxiety crippled me for so long that I lost all clarity on what was real and what was a distraction from the enemy. That dynamic duo caused me to lose all sense of reality and forget my identity in Christ.
But guess what?
They have reached their end date.
Now, face that reality.