“Everything that the devil stole, God is giving it back to me!”

That 2008 song performed by Dorinda Clark was blasting through our speakers Saturday morning as I meticulously cleaned every room in our home.

I had woken up early to take my iron pill (which requires me to sit upright for 10 minutes), followed by my Omeprazole pill one hour later, and then my ADHD medication 30 minutes after that. It’s a whole dance to get the most important pills of my day taken by 9 am, while still letting me sleep in as late as possible on a Saturday morning. But this particular Saturday was a deep clean day, and I planned on capitalizing on my early morning by doing what every good Christian Jamaican woman has done before me- blast gospel music and use an abundance of bleach. Yet when that song came across the speakers- a song I had listened to many a time over the past 18 years- my life flashed before my eyes, recalling decades of pain, before releasing tears of joy and a praise dance.

God really is giving me back EVERYTHING that was stolen from me.

For the past nine years, I have openly shared the joys and the hurts of my life. When God spoke to me on January 3, 2017, He very clearly told me to share my testimony of how He had happened to my life. Since then, I have experienced the highest of highs… and also the lowest of lows. My depression got so bad that I attempted to take my own life, and my happiness was so all-consuming that it still puts a smile on my face. Regardless of how I felt in a particular moment, I knew that God still loved me and still had a purpose for my life. However, I secretly wished that my life was better and not so difficult. It seemed like for every step that I took forward, something happened to set me back two or three steps. I couldn’t win for losing, and behind the bright smile that I reluctantly wore were the worst feelings of disappointment, despair, and depression that I had ever known. I had to believe that God’s plan and promise for me were greater than I could ever imagine because Satan was trying too hard to take me out. I lost YEARS of my life because of matters beyond my control, but God declared that I was getting everything back.

“Can’t have my joy. Can’t have my peace. Can’t have my faith. I want everything!”

Last year, when God stated that it was my time to heal, both my ears and my heart perked up to attention. Finally, it was my turn to live and- in the words of Soror Congresswoman Maxine Waters- reclaim my time. While I was excited, I’m not going to lie: I thought this process would be faster. Yet regardless of how fast this car is going, its direction is clear, and I am grateful. Every tear that I had shed served a purpose; God was fulfilling His promise over my life. My praise dance had no end in sight. The words that Ms. Clark sang were permeating every fiber of my being; their truth had become the marrow in my bones. God had not forgotten about me, and He was diligently working behind the scenes to restore my life.

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Beloved, I have two questions for you to ponder: 1. What have you lost in your life? 2. How would it feel if it were restored to you? Reflect on that in prayer with God and openly share your heart with Him today. When I think of restoration, my heart recalls Job, Queen Esther, Ruth, and so many others. It appeared that their losses were greater than their wins, but God had a plan.

His plan?

Restoration.

Be blessed.