Earlier this month, I applied for what I believed was the PERFECT job for me. I had been hearing God’s voice, telling me that my time in the classroom (in the classroom, not in education) was coming to an end, and after a prayer by the water (my favorite place to talk to God), I learned of a position that I just knew God had opened just for me.

Immediately after I applied, I started working on my portfolio. Like a visual artist, educators tend to have portfolios that show, at a glance, their contributions to their classroom, students, school, and community. Portfolios are, to me, the epitome of professionalism, and as a Business Educator, I felt it was imperative for me to have the best one ever. So, I worked diligently on this container of my educator greatness. I sought the guidance of a sister/friend who is an administrative leader in another school system. She had introduced me to the concept of a portfolio, and she is an inspiration to me, both professionally and personally. When she said that, looking at my portfolio, she would hire me, I knew that I was good to go. God had told me to prepare and ready myself, so when the portfolio was finished, I thought I was ready. I was given an interview time for this perfect position, and I physically prepared for what was to come.

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On the day of the interview, I rose early that morning ready ready for the day. King told me to focus on myself that morning and not worry about breakfast for him like I normally do. I left our house 30 minutes early, drove the 10 minutes to the school, sat in the parking lot until 10 minutes before the interview, and then I went inside. Like I tell my students, I left my phones in the car because the interview starts when you arrive in the building. As I walked up to the school, I saw a friend and told him why I was there. He, too, agreed that I was perfect for the position, and he stated that he would pray for me. At that point, I knew the job was mine! I thought to myself, “God has all but placed this YES in my lap!” I was confident and secure, knowing that God was about to show off in the best way.

During the interview, my ADHD was on its BEST behavior. I felt like I not only answered the questions adequately, but I also impressed them with my portfolio and experience. I truly felt like the interview was just a formality because God had already spoken in my favor. The interview went over its allotted time, and as I was leaving, I gave the interviewers a QR code so that they could continue reviewing my portfolio on their own time. Naturally, I had already drafted my thank-you letter, and I waited to send it until the time when I believed they had finished all of their interviews. I wanted my name to be the most relevant name on their lips and my experience to be what stood out to them the most. I felt good, better than good, and I waited for the email to come with my job offer.

Unfortunately, three days later, the email that I received was not a job offer, but instead it said that I did not get the job. I was physically teaching at that moment (the email came to my work account), and I had to fight to hold back tears. I forwarded the email to my colleagues who had written letters of recommendation for me, simultaneously sharing the news and thanking them for their support. I tried so hard not to cry. In addition to my colleagues, I forwarded the email to King, asking him to share the news with our sister/friend and our daughter. My pain and disappointment had left me numb; how was I supposed to teach for the rest of the day? There was a deep emptiness that consumed what should have been a fire for the lessons that I still had to deliver. I wanted to move on mentally, but I could not stop thinking about that NO…

During my lunch break, I cried. I felt like a failure, and worse than that, I thought I was not only inadequate, but also as though I had misheard God. Did He not tell me to move? Did He not say that my next was coming? I questioned myself, and I questioned God. I sank deeply into the Seven Stages of Grief (though in no particular order), and I struggled to finish the workday. I smiled in front of my students while slowly dying on the inside. I felt like a hypocrite; teaching students how to interview and find professional success, while being denied positions that I interviewed for (I had interviewed for another position in December).

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Slowly but surely, the texts of support began to flood my (and King’s) phones. I wasn’t in a place to respond, but I did see them, and I thanked God for the people who checked on me. By God’s grace, I had made it through my workday and was able to come home and decompress. King was already planning our date night and decided that in light of my news, a visit to a local Rage Room was in order. For 20 minutes, I took out my pain and frustration on random objects that had been donated to that space. With each swing and strike, I released the hurt that had consumed me for far longer than I can even remember. I released so much that even now I am still sore from the swings. But I released.

Thank You, Lord!

As Saturday and Sunday went on, I realized the blessings that I have, and I thanked God. You see, six years ago, I had applied for a similar position at this same school. After I had interviewed then, I sent my thank-you email and immediately got a reply saying that I didn’t get that job. That NO six years ago hurt, but it led to a YES that forever changed my life. That NO allowed me to get a YES from the school where I currently work, which then led to many other professional YESes. But here’s what blew my mind. That YES for my school led me to meet the woman who introduced me to King. Even though his daughter would eventually attend and graduate from the school where I wanted to work, he and I might never have met, and even if we did, without the mutual friend vouching for each of us, we may have never dated. As much as I love King and as thankful as I am for him, I would never change any path that led me to him. Additionally, aside from family, the people who reached out to me because of this NO were people that I met only because of the previous NO that I had received six years ago. I became a teacher because of that NO. I traveled on educator learning experiences because of that NO. I grew as a Christian and person because of that NO. So, as it turns out, what I thought six years ago was a devastating NO was actually the perfect NO, because it led to the very life that I thank God for now.

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The perfect NO…

Beloved, what if I told you that behind every NO is the YES that will positively change your life? My sister/friend reminded me that man’s rejection is actually God’s protection from something that we may not be able to see at the moment. And while I see the truth in that, in my life I can see that when God gave me a NO, it was actually because He had something greater in store for me. Although that NO initially broke my heart on Friday, joy truly came in the morning when God reminded me of the YESes that followed that initial NO. And what if we took the same approach with every moment in our life? What if we grabbed a journal and recalled each time we received a NO and noted what happened in our lives after that NO? I like to believe that if we did that, we would indeed see how that NO paved the way for bountiful blessings that we did not even have room enough to receive. That NO not only protected us from something that we didn’t even know was dangerous to us, but it also opened the door to a series of blessings that continues to multiply in God.

Sweet Friend, the perfect NO is that no that comes with God’s hand continuing to guide and protect us in our entire life. Praise God for that perfect NO, and if you are so led, please share your NO below so that others can be strengthened and encouraged by your testimony.