Organizing Pieces

Sleep welcomed and enveloped me like never before. I was supposed to be enjoying a relaxing weekend with my besties, Amy and Melanie, yet all I could do was just sleep. Through every movie, after every meal, all day Saturday- all I did was sleep.

And it felt so good.

It’s like my body finally knew what my mind was afraid to admit- I had been doing too much and I needed rest. So right there, in what should and could have been a wonderful bonding experience, I slept away the busyness of the past 9.5 months.

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My plate is FULL… but so is my heart.

To know me is to know that I very rarely say NO to anything. If there is a way to help others and to make a difference in the life of a child, I will always say yes. This year I have been blessed with many opportunities to positively impact others and I have readily agreed to support in every way possible. Sunday evening meetings? Yes. Friday night events? Of course. Whatever is needed, I say YES without even giving it a second thought. My mind and my mouth work faster than my body does…

So this weekend when I should have been awake to enjoy the bonding and being with my besties that I have not seen in months, naturally, my body found it the perfect time to collapse. But I have no complaints. What I did learn this weekend is simple, when I did allow for my body to rest, my mind was able to collect all of the broken pieces of my heart and finally organize them in a way that would be most beneficial to M.E. and to others around me. As such, I am sharing some revelations from this weekend; I am organizing the pieces of M.E.:

• My besties asked for and yielded to the help of others. All three of us struggle with asking for help and we struggle to our own detriment. I can honestly say that this weekend was the first time that we accepted our own limitations and humbled ourselves enough to solicit the help of one another, our sisters. I’m grateful for this weekend of transparency and this weekend when we finally realized that we could not do everything on our own. Honestly, I’m proud of us.
• I attended my first campfire! I say this all the time but I’m from Baltimore and some things are just new to me. The concept of sitting in front of an open fire and roasting marshmallows is new to me. In Baltimore, open fires were for creating heat due to the cold or … something else (I’m not going to talk about that here, lol!) Despite my ignorance in the matter, I sat at a campfire and created memories with women that I do not typically hang out with. I am so grateful! I made my first smore and soon realized that it is not as easy to remove the hot marshmallow from the stick as it looks on socials. LOL!
• I opened my heart. In organizing pieces, I decided to try something new… and joined a dating site. [Collective GASP!] Dating sites are not new to me but this concept of really putting forth an effort in my 30s is new. The last man that I met on a dating site was my boyfriend of two years and my now loc competitor as we share photos of our respective loc journeys. He is someone that I would definitely consider a friend, although our relationship did not work out. Nevertheless, I’m out here again, opening my heart to new opportunities. Stay tuned.

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As I organize the pieces of my life, I look at what is before me and consider how I want the rest of my life to play out. What items can I group together? What items can I discard? What is most important to me? Organizing doesn’t mean that everything is perfect or that all pieces will fit together perfectly; it simply means that I am taking inventory of what I have and what I would like to do with what I have. Currently, I am choosing the joys of life.

Beloved, what are you doing today to organize your life and heart? What pieces of your life are you beginning to gather and organize today, so that you may have a better tomorrow? While we cannot control the heartbreaks that may occur in our lives, we can control how we respond to them and the energy that we exert in rebuilding post-break. Let today be the day that you intentionally collect and organize the pieces of your life and heart.

Be blessed.