To know me is to know that I am not a very patient person. Yet, if you were to ask my students, they would all proclaim that patience is one of my greatest qualities because of what they have witnessed in my classroom.
Truth is, I get frustrated when I make plans and my plans don’t work out as I had envisioned. I don’t like to wait for things or, if I do, I mentally allot the “appropriate” amount of waiting time and then get agitated when the wait exceeds my expectations. While I recognize that my time is not God’s time, I do believe that my time is valuable and that there should be decency and order in all things. I have a schedule for my schedule and I literally carve out time to weekly sync my paper planner to the calendar on my phone. I plan so effectively that even an element of disappointment sets in when my plans don’t flush out properly.
So, no, patient is not a word that I would use to describe myself. And that’s the God in all of this. I may not be patient, I may operate life in the fast lane, but God finds ways to slow me down and allow me to travel at the pace in which He deems appropriate and necessary. It is in this slowed lane that I am able to see the hope, beauty, and joy that exists in each moment.
Beloved, are you grateful for the wait?
I think sometimes we think that waiting and delays are not for our good and that it somehow means that we have fallen in favor from God. No, no- please don’t think that. Please know that delays are just God’s way of further preparing us for whatever greater lies ahead. A period or season of waiting is just God’s way of ensuring that what we step into will be perfectly crafted and finished, just for us.
But what about now? What about the today? Well, we simply WAIT in the today. In the moment that we have now, we ask God to ready us for whatever we desire and He has prepared next.
In a moment of full transparency, I have to be honest and share that I desire marriage and children (and in that order). I desire so desperately to open my heart and womb for more than just me. For reasons that I am coming to understand, God has said, “not yet.” At first, this angered me and I tried to find them both on my own, but as God causes me to wait, I see Him fortifying other aspects of my life.
He provided a true and fulfilling career.
He is strengthening my relationship with Him.
He is breaking generational curses in my family.
He is helping me to heal from my past.
He allowed me to find and use my voice.
He is building my legacy.
From the outside, I could not see all that God was doing on the inside, but as I now sit in my season of wait, I understand His ways just a little bit more. It’s coming- perfectly packaged for M.E.- I must just trust God and wait with anticipation and prayer.
Beloved, first I asked you to HEAL, then I asked you to LOVE… now, I’m asking you to WAIT in the today. His delay is NOT His denial; worship God in the WAIT.