I’ll be honest, I had panic attacks galore at the thought of returning back to the classroom with students. When my district announced that all staff had to return to the building on January 27th, I had a brain full of negative thoughts, praying for some type of divine intervention. So when my county was plagued with random snowstorm after random snowstorm, I just KNEW it was God’s way of responding to my prayers to return back to a virtual environment until all staff members were fully vaccinated. It’s not that I didn’t want to return, I just wanted to be fully prepared for the return of students and the germs that come with being around large crowds of people on a daily basis.
Initially, my district said that they would control the administration of vaccines and ensured that all who desired a vaccine would receive it… yet, that is not what has happened thus far. In fact, the administration of the vaccine has now been removed from my district’s hands and we have been left to fend for ourselves. It’s truly like The Hunger Games out here as we visit site after site in search of a viable appointment. I searched for hours to find an appointment and nothing worked. Eventually, my sister and a principal-friend secured an appointment for yesterday… that was ultimately cancelled for some unknown reason. I. Was. Devastated. I’ve researched and considered so many options, but I decided to get the vaccine for one reason- my loved ones. This vaccine is for their safety and their health; I will gladly get a shot so that they can live.
Another reason for the vaccine is because I work in a high school. Even with hybrid learning, I see roughly 900-1,000 people every week. No matter how safe and cautious I am, I cannot control and manage the lives of anyone else. I don’t know who they’ve been around, where they’ve been, and how they choose to live. Even though their choices impact me, I cannot control them. I wanted the vaccine so that I could stand a fighting chance against this virus that has claimed the lives of more than 500,000 Americans. So many unknowns and uncontrollables and I felt that vaccine was my strongest aid.
One might wonder why I came running into this field and why I am not fleeing like many around me who are retiring from education at the second semester’s first midterm marking. Well, here’s why: I found my motivation. In spite of all of my fears and reservations, God took several moments this past week to remind me of my purpose and my heart’s calling. In reminding me, I was able to see that I absolutely love working with children and He placed me here to make a difference. I really did need that reminder because in the panic and chaos of Covid and this vaccine, I had forgotten what God was doing in my life.
For 2021, God placed a heavy burden on my heart to learn and teach love. Naively, I thought that meant that I was literally going to be up to my eyeballs in lessons of love, 1 Corinthians 13, and the like. Turns out, in order for Him to effectively teach me about love, He had to heal me… and continue to teach me about healing. As I learned weeks ago with The Healing Side of Pain, there is more to pain than just, well, the pain; there is actually a healing component to it as well. Likewise, once in that healing side, there are many levels to healing.
I am never one to introduce a #MondayMessage series because I am forgetful and I have ADHD so my mind shifts often, but I feel a loving burden to spend this Marvelous Month of March talking about MOTIVATION. Sit back, Beloved, it’s time to dive into the Motivation of Healing.