January was that month. Between the physical gallbladder pain (prior to its removal) and then the depression that found me post surgery, January had me paralyzed in my emotions from beginning to end. Even with all that I was experiencing, God was still good and His blessings flowed abundantly.
Today, I write from a place of reflection on this healing side of pain.
Do you remember that message from two weeks ago? In it, I talked about how there are two sides of pain- the beginning and the healing side. With our pain, our God carries us into His operating room and performs surgery on us. The goal of His surgery is to repair, remove, or replace something within us that will ultimately restore us back to Him. Once the operation is over, we then sit with Him on the healing side of pain and recovery. There is, to be very honest, a little pain on this side, but the pain is a healing/growing pain, and we come out stronger in the end because of it. This side is where we “count it all joy, knowing that the testing of our faith produces patience (James 1:2-3).” We are not alone and we will heal.
Well, as I sit on this side of healing, I have to be honest- the pain is real! The weight of the things around me seem so encompassing and I just want to sit in the corner and let my feelings lull me off to sleep for the foreseeable future. Instead, God sits beside me, comforting me as only He can, and offers to hold my hand as I walk through this healing time. Understand, Beloved, my physical pain from surgery has decreased (only my incisions hurt now), but I am still healing on the inside. You see, my surgeon told me that I would feel back to “normal” after two weeks, but that internally, I would be healing for up to six months. Likewise, when God operated on me, the internal healing would take much longer than what could be seen on the outside. As I heal, the pain lessens, but the lessons endure.
Today is February- page 32 in this 365 page book of this year- and as I look onward towards wholeness, I smile at the internal healing that is occurring within me… and within you. What I can see on the outside pales in comparison to what God is doing within you. I am trusting that God is working within us in such a way that once the healing is done, we will walk with a new gait, we will smile with a healed heart, and we will love like never before. I may not be able to see it right now, but I know that is what He is doing on the inside.
I didn’t have a real theme or title for today. In fact, by the time I got to this sentence, I still didn’t have a title atop my screen. All I knew is that I wanted God to continue healing me. Simply being on the healing side of pain was not enough- I want God to continue to do His work within me, no matter what it may feel like right now. I knew that I wanted God to remind us all that beyond what we can see, healing is happening and it is for our good. Beloved, we can do this; with God by our side, we can heal internally.