A page from my diary…

Dear Abba,

I share my heart with You…

As I sit in church, swaying left to right, I listen to the beautiful string of praises to You from the mouths of babes.

Reckless Love.

My heart is overflowing with love and praises to You on this day.
My God, You are beyond worthy to be praised.

This moment is amazing; this feeling is indescribable.

Service was beautiful today.

I attend two services every week and it never ceases to amaze me how much the two services differ from one another. Yes, the Spirit flows freely in both, but one typically stands out from the other… and today that was 11am service. I served as worship leader today and, per my usual, I was collected and composed during 8am service. But at 11 am… I was as free as the Spirit within me.

I love it when that happens.
I love it when I let go of who I should be, what I should do, and how things should go and allow You to work in Your own way. I’ll be honest, it doesn’t happen often- because I’m too much in my head- but when it does, it’s beautiful.

And that happened today.

Abba, could You hear my praise? Did You hear the cries of my heart?
They were not for me. No, my tears were for those around me.

My human eyes saw the bodies of those who are battling cancer and recovering from illnesses and procedures. Yet my spiritual eyes saw the limitless possibilities of my limitless God. I saw God’s Spirit moving from person to person, relieving them of whatever ails them. So my heart prayed. My mouth and words- late to the party, as usual- tried to keep up with the flowing words of my heart, offering prayers to You on behalf of those in my midst. I don’t know if it made any sense… but I had so much to say to You.

I needed You to know that my heart aches along with those who are near me. I just needed You to hear me. So between my tears, my heart fought to put words to the vivid pictures and feelings that floated throughout its protective barriers.

Father, can You hear me now? I’m crying out to You on behalf of those who are unable to do so themselves. I cry out for them, asking that You would heal their physical bodies and restore their joy. Give them beauty for the ashes that they wear and open their hearts’ eyes to You.

My heart makes a joyful boast unto You. Could You tell? In Psalm 96, David spoke the words that my heart longs to say. With gladness I praise You, with jubilance I offer praises to Your name.

As the week begins, I pray my song to You continues. This world is cruel and the days are long- sometimes it is hard to keep your praises in my heart… my less on my lips.

I fall victim to my flesh.
I try, but I bend to the strength of the world.

Forgive me, Father; forgive me and strengthen my footing in You.

Carry me through this week and allow me to go deeper in You… even when all I want to do is pull away. Draw me nearer, Abba.

Until tomorrow, Father, until I am able to steal away again and write words to You.. hear my heart as it sings to You…

Love always…

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