A Side of Singleness

My mother birthed me just three months before her 32nd birthday; I was her fifth and final child. So, naturally, I thought that I would have finished my family by that same age. Imagine my surprise today, six months after my 32rd birthday, and I am not even dating a man, much less married and with children.

I saw my life going differently.
I saw myself as a wife and a mother by this age.
I saw myself having children at a young-ish age so that I could enjoy them in the prime of my life.
I saw myself being the doting wife while my husband and I developed our life together.
I saw my life going differently.

I honestly believe that all of that and more will come to pass, in due time, when God says it’s time. … I just thought it would have happened by now… but I’m cool with waiting. I have come to learn that in my singleness is not about me and my desires, my singleness is about my service to God.

It is time for me to serve God.

Just this past Friday I accepted my calling and role as a Jane on All Trades. God Happened To ME Ministries is an umbrella LLC to six different branches- all managed and performed by me- in addition to my full time job, my roles at church, and my roles in my family. Yeah, I wear a lot of hats. I remember this time just three years ago when I was involved in less… but battled with depression and anxiety heavily. I was emotionally unstable at that time so everything felt harder than necessary but now… I am proud to say that while I get tired (physically), I have God-given energy and joy that pushes me past the point of quitting.

I’m tired but not through.
I’m weary but not worn.
I’m just here to serve.

While I did not throw away my desire to be married and have a family, I have shelved the incessant thoughts so that I can be more focused on more important things… like serving God.

Beloved, what I have learned all too recently is that God allows various seasons in our lives to pull us closer to Him. We all know Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and can probably repeat it glibly, if not, go take a read. Its words are true- there is a time for everything and seasons that we all go through in life. But in each season of our lives, God is there with a purpose and a direction for it all. For me, God is using this season of awakened singleness to draw me closer to Him and His service. And with me being so close, the only way a man can get to my heart is to go directly to the Father. After all, my Father is the keeper of my heart and the joy of my soul.

Whether you’re single or married, if you are reading this, ask yourself this question: “What can I do in this season to draw closer to God?”

We often dedicate the 40 days of Lent to make changes and “draw closer” to God. Yes, that is a time period, but it’s not a true season. A season is the combination of a period of time and a lesson learned. So, again I ask, what are you doing during this season of your life? Just as God walked with Adam in the cool of the day (go read Genesis, Beloved), we were created to walk with our Father, too. Yes, please; I want to walk with God- every day and in every way!

For me, I am taking this time before marriage to become skillful within the gift lane that God has placed me. I truly desire to be like David in 1 Samuel 16 where my gifts from God are known before and more than me.

That’s what my single season is for.

This season is not for me to complain, wallow in sadness, and get all hot and bothered because some bearded man smiles at me (I do love a man with a beard). No, this is my time to study, grow, and perfect that which I already have been given.

Besides, if I don’t treasure what I currently have, why would or should God bless me with more?

Dear friend, if you are single, don’t allow its perceived loneliness to leave you hopeless and worrisome. Instead, take this time to develop and strengthen your God-given gifts. And if you are married, strengthen your relationship with God and then your relationship with your spouse will grow, too. Remember, in order for earthly relationships to succeed, they must be built on a solid relationship with God.

Beloved, I don’t know about you, but I want ALL that God has for me. I will take the sweet desserts of a life to come even if it means that I must eat the fruit of today, paired with a side of singleness.

Be blessed.

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