The AUDACITY of me!
The unmitigated gall of me!
How DARE I expect perfection from the world… when I myself am so far from perfect?

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As I mentioned last week, King and I moved in together on Friday, May 1st, and it was an adventure to say the least. It appeared as though so many things were going wrong and- for the briefest of moments- I actually believed the doom and gloom tales that my mind was trying to feed me. We had hired movers to get our belongings from each of our respective previous homes and then transport them to our new home. That part went magnificently well; I cannot recommend College H.U.N.K.S. (specifically, Justin and Isaac) enough! Both the company as a whole and the movers were so kind and detail-oriented that they made moving a dream. It wasn’t until we were at our new home that the “nightmare” began.

The place where King and I live is heavily protected and requires clearance (a Real ID, US Citizenship, and no felonies) to enter. As we scheduled deliveries for our bed, sofa sectional, and washer and dryer, we told the companies everything that I just wrote. We stressed that all people in the vehicle were subject to the check and that the company should plan for this, only sending team members who could meet the strict guidelines. Yet as the hours passed, King received text after text saying that our items could not be delivered because the people could not meet the security requirements. If you did not know, King is a disabled military veteran, and I am an almost 40-year-old woman with the back of a 70-year-old due to scoliosis and lower back injuries. Bodily comfort is not a luxury for us; it is a necessity. Learning that our bed would not be delivered that day crushed me, and some poor call center employees found themselves on the phone with an irate woman. Knowing that after hours of bending and rotating to get the move handled, I would not be sleeping on our comfortable $5,000 mattress, caused me to want to throw the entire day away. While I was irritated, I said, “it’s fine; as long as the sofa comes, we will be fine.” Little did I know that the next text that King would receive would be from the company that had the sofa and that they would say the same thing.

In a moment, I had the opportunity to respond to the stressors of my life like Christ or like Michelle, and, unfortunately, I made the wrong choice. While I was nowhere near as bad as I used to be decades ago, I still reacted in a way that was not becoming of the Holy Spirit that dwells within me. I speak/write so much about God’s grace that I may make it seem like I don’t get angry or frustrated and act poorly in that moment. The truth is, I spent so many years of my life not in control of what was happening to me and having no say in my life’s activities, that now, as an adult, I want to control everything. When the slightest thing goes awry, my first thought is to offer unsolicited advice to others in a less-than-Christian type of way… because, clearly, I am perfect and have always been perfect, so I know what’s best.

Oh. Emm. Gee.
The audacity!

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The truth is, this weekend both humbled me and encouraged me to sit in a reflective seat with gratitude. Not having a bed, a washer and dryer, and a sofa encouraged me to be appreciative of what I do have, and to be grateful for King and his problem-solving capabilities. Additionally, instead of sitting on the couch and just relaxing or sleeping this weekend away, I got up, moved around, and unpacked every single box and bag we brought into our home. Our bedroom is organized, our bathrooms are fully equipped, meals were cooked and prepped for the week, and everything has been organized. I even sat on my yoga mat yesterday morning with a cup of tea, my journal, and the sun beautifully shining through the patio door, and I fellowshipped with Jesus. And, as I moved about our home, I whispered prayers to God, thanking Him, rejoicing, and sharing my heart’s desires. Truthfully, I know I would not have been able to do any of that if I had been comfortable.

In fact, that is my lesson this week (something that I will carry with me for life). Oftentimes, life has some very uncomfortable moments, moments where, if we are not careful, what could be a bend will lead to a break. Yet it is in those uncomfortable moments that we will not only learn so much about God, His provisions, and His love for us, but also learn more about ourselves. My uncomfortable moments shaped me, laying the foundation for who I am as a person, and they cause me to approach life with gratitude. So, yes, I thank God for the comfortable moments, those when blessings are LOUD and feel abundantly wonderful. Yet I also thank Him for the uncomfortable moments because that’s where I grow, and that’s where gratitude abounds.

My life hasn’t been PERFECT, but God has been PRESENT. And His PRESENCE has allowed me to PERSEVERE, PRESS, and PROGRESS in PURSUIT of His PROMISE over my life.

Beloved, recall your last “uncomfortable” moment. Looking back, how can you see the hand of God moving on your behalf at that time? As you recall, open up a journal or your notes app and write a prayer of reflection and gratitude to our Lord and Savior.

Be blessed.