The Next Act: Promises Fulfilled!

Is this the end or the beginning? I don’t know, but my heart is ready…

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you know that on April 17th, King and I formalized our relationship by entering a legally-binding Domestic Partnership. Before I go any further with this post, I want to take a moment to address some Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):

What is a Domestic Partnership?
A Domestic Partnership is a legal or recognized relationship between two unmarried adults who live together, share a common life, and are committed to each other, often providing some, but not all, of the legal benefits of marriage.
Which jurisdiction is covered by a Domestic Partnership?
A Domestic Partnership has state-level protections/governance and does not transfer from state to state (at this time).
Why did you choose a Domestic Partnership, versus marriage?
With proper documentation (which is the way King and I operate), we have all of the same protections as are offered by a marriage. Neither of us is ruling out a marriage later, but for now, we agree that it is not necessary. We are recognized as legit by the state, our loved ones, and God- that’s enough for us.
What legal benefits are offered?
That varies from state to state, but in Maryland, “registered Domestic Partnerships in Maryland offer unmarried couples significant legal protections, primarily in estate planning, tax exemption, and, in some cases, family leave. Key benefits include exemption from the state’s 10% inheritance tax, a $10,000 family allowance, and inheritance rights similar to spouses if a partner dies without a will (McMillian, Metro, Faerber).”
Did you exchange/ are you getting rings?
Nope, but we are getting matching Smart rings. Does that count???
Did/will you change your last name?
At any time in my life, I can change my name for any reason. While I always said that I would take on King’s last name, in today’s political climate, I have opted not to legally change my name… but don’t be surprised if you see me change it on socials. 😉
Will you have a ceremony?
Again, no; I have never been fond of being the center of attention. However, intimate gatherings will occur later this year. 💜

Now that that’s out of the way…

King and I became official on the 17th of April, and on May 1st, we will officially begin our lives together. There are no words to describe how elated I am to begin this next chapter of my life… well, of our lives. Yet as that day approaches, I sit in a place of reflection on what it took to get to this place. Lots of prayer, gallons of tears shed, and intentional healing have led me to this place where I sit at both the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

The chapter that is ending shaped M.E.…

I have talked about my past for just over nine years now. On Sunday, April 16, 2017, I recorded my testimony video and shared my childhood trauma with the world. Unbeknownst to me, that was the beginning of a journey that would take me around the world to both see the beauty of God and understand His power in my life. Many blessings and lessons have been bestowed upon me during those chapters, and I sit in a state of reflective gratitude for all that God has done.

Recently, I have been sharing about my ADHD medication journey, and when I tell you that God had His hand all up and through that process- I mean it! I remember my struggle with depression medication back in 2016. I remember the thoughts of suicide that accompanied me for every moment of my days from November 2015 until August 2016. I remember that my boyfriend at that time tried his hardest to save me, but his efforts were in vain, and my deep-seated issues caused the death of our relationship. I was so broken back then, and I didn’t even know. I needed a Savior, yet I was still turning to the world for help. Ten years have passed since my last suicidal thought or attempt, and I continue to thank God every day for my life. But here is the truth- faith alone did not save me.

Turn with me to James 2:14-26.

In this passage of scripture, we hear from God that faith alone has never been enough. Abraham and Rahab are mentioned for their acts of faith, and from those examples we can infer one thing: we have to do more than just believe.

We have to act.

Ever since Mrs. Ida walked me down the aisle of Mt. Olive Baptist Church (in Towson, Maryland) when I was eight years old, I have known God, and I have had faith. I could understand the meaning of God’s word, and I could even relate to some of the stories that were in there. Yet there was a disconnect between what I read about God doing for others and what I believed He could or would do for me. Because there was a disconnect, I moved with inconsistency. I barely knew myself and definitely didn’t really know God. Yet every Sunday I was in church, observing how others behaved when they encountered God. As the years passed, life happened, and my faith grew. I began to witness God move in my own life, and the connection between scripture and my reality started to make sense. But I was still broken, and I still needed to heal.

When I began my ADHD medication, I prayed heavily before I even confirmed a medication with my psychiatrist. I wanted to be sure that I did not have another medication failure like I did when I was on Depression pills. I desperately needed help repairing my life, and I poured all of that out in prayer to God before I began medication. Turns out, the work that I put in before starting medication was exactly what I needed. The medication that I have been taking for 37 weeks has changed my life for the better and is making it possible for me to be in this state of mind right now.

I can think clearly.
I no longer have intrusive thoughts drowning out God’s voice.
I can see God’s beautiful works.
I am free.

But to get here, I had to work. You see, I had the faith, but I had no actions or work to support it. No, my decades of going to church, reading the Bible, and attending retreats and Bible studies were not enough- I needed to be like Abraham and Rahab, depending on God alone in a life-or-death situation. For it is when I incorporated true work that my faith was “activated.”

Faith without works is dead.

Growing up in the church, we hear so often that we should just pray about things and let God handle it. Yet what that logic does not account for is the fact that some of us literally cannot think clearly. Between the ADHD, the PTSD, and the Depression, my head was jumbled with noise that condemned me to hell and back with no option to ever hear God’s voice. Beloved, read that again- MY UNSTABLE MENTAL HEALTH PROHIBITED ME FROM HEARING GOD AND COMMUNING WITH HIM! I was preaching and ministering with a broken mind that could not function properly if it wanted to.

The chapter that is ending in my life contained the backstory of who I was and how God happened to M.E. It exposes the pain and vulnerabilities that consumed me for so long. Yet this chapter and the other chapters in this first Act of my life do not define me; there is more to come.

The chapter that is beginning is the fulfillment of God’s promise to M.E….

In the Bible, God sent a beautiful rainbow as a promise after the 40 days and 40 nights of flooding. Even though it was years before Noah and his family actually departed the ark and walked on land again, the sign of the promise was immediate.

Beloved, much like Noah, this next chapter marks the moment when I will get to experience the full breadth of the promises that God has spoken over my life.

Glory to God!!!

Remember two weeks ago when I wrote about energy? Well, this is why. The first Act of my life is coming to its end, and I refuse to carry with me the negativity, fear, doubt, and pain of that time with me into this next Act. Those days of doubting God and His hand in my life did not get packed into my [many] blue moving bags or totes. Intentionally, I also did not pack the opinions of others and the control that I let them have over my life and time for so long. In fact, I deliberately waited to tell certain people certain things because I had to ensure that my spiritual guards were up and activated, ready to brace against the foolishness and hate that would undoubtedly come my way. This time is different!

Quite literally, King and I are starting from the very beginning with everything. Roughly 90% of the items- not including clothing- that will fill our home are newly purchased. When I say that we are not caring items from others or things that are too deeply rooted in our past, I mean it. In fact, the only “gently used” item that will be entering our home is coming as a donation gift from the woman who introduced us. I find that quite poetic, actually. King and I are united on starting fresh, and I just thank God for this opportunity. My prayers for a lifemate came true when I met King, and my prayers for my life are coming true with this new beginning.

This next chapter is both the ending and a beginning.

It is both the ending of my storm…
…and the beginning of my new life.

It is both the ending of my dependency on the world…
…and the beginning of my sole reliance on God.

It is both the ending of my “singlehood”…
…and the beginning of my life partnership.

It is the end… and the beginning.

And it is overwhelmingly beautiful.

Thank You, Lord; my heart is full. 💜