As I stood in the pulpit on Wednesday and looked into the empty sanctuary, I let out a soft chuckle of release. God was going to work this emotion out in my life, one way or another.
REJECTION.
I’d been sitting in this space for so long and God just wanted to heal me completely, yet I could not surrender and allow God to do His best work. Denial fueled me; delusion controlled me.
Yet in preparation for Wednesday’s Holy Communion service, I had to address every emotion within me… starting with the feeling of rejection.
Why was smaller Michelle preferred over bigger Michelle?
Why did Michelle with locs get more aggressive stares than relaxed hair Michelle?
Why wasn’t I invited to the party that all of my peers attended?
Why didn’t he call me back?
Why wasn’t I good enough?
These were questions that danced in my head all the time.
I was always wondering why I was not the preferred option of so many people or what I did wrong to be so… REJECTED. Yet as I stated on Wednesday, I am Seen, Not Rejected by God…even if no one else sees me.
What’s my point, Beloved?
Even though I cannot physically see your face right now, I want you to know that I see your heart. When God placed this ministry on my heart six years ago, He told me about you. Maybe not by name or specific situation, but God told me that as I shared my heart and testimony of His love, that many would come and that they would be in need of His unconditional love. He said that you would need to know that even when the world doesn’t see or acknowledge you, He sees you and He loves you. He said that you would need to hear that from me, because I had struggled with this very feeling for so long. So hear me when I say it- GOD LOVES YOU.
As crazy as it sounds, there is something so beautiful in the emotion of rejection. Psalm 139:13-14 says that we were fearfully and wonderfully made by our Lord God who knit us in our mother’s womb. And, unfortunately, sometimes we miss or underestimate the love of God because we are so focused on love from humans. Something that God has revealed to me is that as I sit in emotions, that is the time that I must draw closer to Him.
Beloved, because God is omnipresent- everywhere all at one time-He is in the midst of every situation and emotion that we experience. Even rejection. And because God is in rejection, there is grace in rejection, too.
Find the grace; know our God.
Be blessed.
God Happened To ME Ministries, LLC 