Unspoken Words.

When I look into his eyes, I see my future.
It’s not a literal vision, but more of a glimpse beyond what I know is the present.
I see that when I look at him.

He drives me crazy.
He’s like that computer browser with 75 tabs open at one time; there is always something going.
Even after having had surgery on Thursday, this man was up and moving around immediately.
I legitimately don’t think he knows how to sit down.
It is frustrating because sometimes I just want to relax, but here he goes, getting into something else.
Yet it is also comforting because it is who he is and I dare not change him.

“You cannot change a man because you love him, but he can change himself because he loves you.”
Some wise person said that and they aren’t wrong.
I think in previous relationships I tried to “grow” and “groom” the man into the man that I wanted him to be.
And when the task became too hard to bear, I found a way to end the relationship, blaming the man for his flaws.
That was me; running from what seemed too much.
But I can’t run with him; with him I am forced to confront any demons that exist and defeat them in Jesus’ name.
But there is no changing him… only growing with him.

I grew up without often hearing the words, “I love you” so now I say them everyday.
To my bestie- I love you.
To my mother- I love you.
To my niece- I love you.
To my sister- I love you… r daughter (lol, an inside joke).
To my guy- I love you.
Like me, he didn’t grow up hearing those three endearing words.
Unlike me, he tended to run from those words and those feelings… until he met me, at least.
I can’t change him… but I can love him, pray for him, and love him some more.

He’s not mushy and gushy like me but he appreciates my heart.
One of the best kept secrets of my heart is how grateful I am for him.
You see, in many ways, his love set me free.
I no longer have to be the girl that I was before.
I no longer have to live in the pain that I was in before.
I no longer have to run like I did before.
Love has set me free.

The funniest thing about love is that the love I have for others exists only because of the love God has for me.
We talk about love and God so often and try to separate the two.
But we can’t; God is love.
God comes deep within us and fills us with His being and His love.
And then we are able to love others.
God’s love for me, allows me to love you.

And those are my heart’s unspoken words.

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