I’ve got nothing

I’ve got nothing.

If you know me, you know that I start working on my #MondayMessage on Fridays, with a scheduled post made by Sunday afternoon. By Mondays at noon I am sitting back, watching others respond to the post and thanking God for the word He sent.

However as of yesterday at 7pm, I had nothing. Actually, I had less than nothing. Typically when I have “nothing” I at least have a poem or mini message to share. This time, I’ve got nothing.

So as I sat at my computer yesterday, watching Christmas movies on Netflix (don’t judge me too much) and drinking my hot tea, I asked God why my tank was running on empty. His response?

Because you need to surrender.


Seriously, why is God so direct with me? It’s like He has no filter when it comes to me…

But I digress.

Ever since Wednesday God has been telling me one, never-ending message- surrender. I thought His message was a bit redundant because I just knew I had already done that. Didn’t He know that I had given everything up to follow Him? Couldn’t He see how my life had changed? Didn’t that matter to Him?

Apparently, God wanted more than just my actions… He wanted my heart, too.

But I’ve got nothing.

My heart has been broken, beaten-up, and bloodied too many times to ever prove useful to God. I fear that if I give it up to one more person that it will literally be broken beyond repair and then shrivel up into little pieces before spontaneously combusting. I just can’t take another heartbreak… especially not from God.

So I sat at my computer, praying that by answering God’s call to surrender He would also make my heart new… open it up to love that was beyond my comprehension… heal me like only He can. But instead, I felt empty because I’ve got nothing.

After venturing out to a friend’s house to watch a movie (that I fell asleep during), I realized what surrendering really looks like. Surrendering to Christ means emptying myself of my strength and limitations, and consciously choosing to walk in God’s strength and His limitless… everything. I realized that I am not empty and devoid of creativity and greatness, I am just full of what God deems important and worthy to carry.

Tomorrow is my 33rd birthday. I will be the same age that Jesus was when He gave His life for mine and let me be honest, I’ve never felt closer to Him than I do right now. As the hours wind down and September 3rd draws near, I can feel God removing my layers of preconceived strength and durability and replacing it with His grace. It is true, I’ve got nothing left of me to give- God has my heart, my life, my mind, my soul- but now I have so much of HIM to give- His grace, His love, His mercy. Today I surrender whatever is not like Him or keeps me from Him and I admit that I’ve got nothing… but Him.

Be blessed.

One Reply to “I’ve got nothing”

  1. “My heart has been broken, beaten-up, and bloodied too many times to ever prove useful to God.”

    Therein lies the key to your whole mystery. The reason Jesus is calling you to surrender is precisely because He doesn’t want you to ‘do’ for Him, He wants you to ‘be’ with Him.

    It is that nagging lie for ‘self’ that convinces us God wants us busy when what He is really after is for us to quit trying. So He has given you the answer. Give up. Quit. Surrender. Stop trying to give God something. When we learn that only God is good and only what flows from Jesus through us is what is valuable then we are getting somewhere. There is absolutely nothing within us that is of any value to us, God or anyone else. What God is looking for is Jesus in you; only God has value. Took our family a looong time to figure this truth out.

    Frankly, I understand exactly where you are at. I was caught in that lie from ‘self’ for a very long time. It was only after God called me to surrender and I started obeying that I learned this. God is gentle and kind but He also knows what a stinker our ‘self’ nature is. He knows it will bind us up in all sorts of knots. It will convince us that only if we ‘do’ something for church or others that we are valuable. Horse pucky. You are valuable simply because you are not because of what you do. God sees this, I see this, can you see this?

    He is telling you what the answer to ‘self’ is. Surrender. Listen to Him. Obey. Just rest in Him. Learn how to rest. Learn how to abide in Jesus. When He starts taking out your ‘self’ nature and filling it up with Himself, you will find a well of life coming up you never thought possible. The reason you are dry now is that ‘self’ is sitting on the well head, capping it. Only Jesus can take that sucker out so hence His dictate, ‘surrender’.

    I pray that you will heed His word. His word can never be taken lightly without consequence. He is offering you a chance to be free of ‘self’. If I were you I would jump at that chance like it was the most precious thing on earth…because it is.

    Homer Les

    Liked by 1 person

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