I have never been one to turn down [legal] money. So when I received an email from a national college offering real cash to take a survey, I JUMPED at the opportunity! I emailed them back with such speed that Superman would be jealous. I don’t even remember how I got on this school’s email list but I just had to see if there was some kind of catch or string that made this unbelievable offer less real. Turns out, I would need to do some “homework” in order to qualify for the survey…and the survey would involve an one-hour phone conversation….ok, fine, I’ll do it.
When I saw the jounal that they wanted me to complete I laughed for a bit. The questions asked me about my life, my goals, my dreams, and my aspirations. What did this have to do with a university survey? Again, I dismissed it and continued completing it because it was a prerequisite for survey… and for the check. It was a 7pg journal that was to be completed over 3 days. I don’t remember every question but I do remember one asking about what I disliked about my current job. Ha! How much time do you have?! Again, I was very honest. I told them things that I had never thought about or ever fully considered. Even now, I am still in awe of my openness and honesty.
I had wondered all week what kind of survey could possibly take one hour and what types of questions might be asked… and then came the survey day.
The representative called me 2mins early and we exchanged the normal pleasantries. She seemed so nice but I guarantee she was not expecting M.E. I told her all about my blog and how my current life was kinda in a mess right now but that I had considered furthering my education to increase my ability to better serve my community. I told her that I saw myself as a community and health advocate and that I wanted to do mentoring. I shared my dreams and 5yr goals. She seemed so impressed and proud of/for me. Then she asked me the hardest question ever: “What do you feel is stopping you from reaching your goal?”
Why did she have to ask me that?
I paused and thought for a second. Then I apologized to her. I told her that I did not know her spiritual beliefs but that I believed in God and I was about to talk about Him.
I told her that God had told me that the time was coming for me to leave my current job, gave all the signs and proof, told me what He wanted me to do, but gave no direction of how to get there. She sat and listened carefully as I told her a bit about M.E.
It’s true. God did tell me that He had more in store for me. One day He even sent a rainbow, out of nowhere, to remind me of His promise to me. He shaped and molded me so that I could be ready for His work. He even reminds me every day that my greater is coming. He has given me the Who, What, When, Where and Why…but the How was missing. I explained to the representative that it’s like God told me to cross a sea but gave no boat or means to pass unscathed. Hmm, this happened to someone else before…
As we chatted some more, I also thought about how much sadness, stress, and confusion I had been experiencing the past few days as I thought about my upcoming move. I even somewhat questioned why He would bring me all this way just to have me in this place of uncertainty.
At the end of Exodus 6 and the beginning of chapter 7, God told Moses to go to Pharaoh, King of Egypt, and tell him as He had instructed. God was preparing the children of Israel for a big shift…but Moses felt unsure of himself because of his stutter (Ex. 6:30). God encouraged him to do as He commanded because He would be there every step of the way. In fact, not only would Moses have God by his side, he would also have his brother, Aaron, there to play his own role.
We all know the story that follows- Pharaoh’s hardened heart, the plagues, the angel of death, then the departure of the Israelites, and the meeting at the Red Sea. But might I challenge you to look a bit closer? Everything had unfolded as God told Moses it would. Now (in chapter 14) the Israelites are showing signs of doubt, despite all the Lord had delivered them from, just because a sea was ahead of them and Pharaoh and his boys were behind them. Just that quickly they had forgotten what a savior the Lord had been. They even asked why Moses had brought them there to die (Ex. 14:11). Wow, they were so ungrateful, right?!
Recap: God told them to leave, provided everything along the way, but they became forgetful when faced with difficulties ahead. Hmm, that sounds very familiar….
God literally told me and showed me what He wants me to do yet here I am crying because I think He hasn’t shown me how to do it. Truth is, He knows me and knows exactly how much I can handle at a certain time. To me the timing may seem slow but in reality, He is working at His own pace. I mean, He is God- He can do that. But what I can’t do is doubt God or His process. We must keep the faith.
Bring on the strange….
God is still in the process of changing and shaping me to be the person that He needs me to be. In order for me to be that person, I do have to do some things that others might perceive as “strange”:
- I must take up my cross and walk with Him daily.
- I must fully submit to His will and way.
- I must pray for my enemies and those who hurt me.
- I must trust His plan even when things seem unknown.
- I must read and heed His Word.
Yeah, I know those things seem odd. Maybe even a little strange. I’m sure that crossing a dry sea bottom seemed strange at the time. But that’s just how our God works. What may seem strange to others is just His idea of right. Sometimes it is ok to do something strange for a Godly change.
What are some of the things that God has told you to do that seemed strange to you? How did His plan come together for your life? Knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?