After Sunrise Service yesterday, I came home and began to unwind. I started washing clothes and then got in bed to try to nap or something of the sort. Truthfully, I got in bed and played that Word Cookies game that my mother got me, my sister, and my niece addicted to (thanks Janet!). Around noon I got up and prepared to break my last day of the Lenten Fast that the Lord had laid upon my heart and I also did meal prep for this week. The day was pretty relaxing and uneventful. It was quiet in the house because it was also the last day of my television fast. Sidebar- it is amazing how much can be heard in extreme silence. It is when we finally still ourselves and our lives that we are able to hear from God. I decided to fast from television for Holy Week because I needed time with God. I needed to eliminate the distractions and noise so that I could hear Him whisper my name. And whisper He did!
I was finally ready to go to sleep around 9pm last night but in typical M.E. form, I played music and lollygagged for a bit. I had just finished an intense prayer and several smaller conversations with God so I was good and tired…but God. God was not ready for me to go to sleep. He kept telling me to get up and tell His story (see, things may have happened to me, but they were all God’s stories that He needed me to tell on His time…and apparently the time was 11:37pm last night, lol). So I wrestled for a while because I was tired and I didn’t feel like getting up, putting on clothes, freshening my face, and recording a video- I mean, come on Jesus, couldn’t we do this at 6am-ish??? No. He needed me to do the video right then and there. Ok, let’s go!
He had already given me the first topic (the difference between being a Victim and a Survivor) so all I had to do was record it. I turned on my video thingy on my phone and began talking. It was surprisingly not hard to get the words out, as they had been on my heart for some time. I realized that I may have looked like I was crying and that’s because I had been crying. I was so grateful for His message and anxious to share it so I just couldn’t stop crying. God truly is a good God. So I recorded the message that God had given me and then I prayed. M.E., Michelle Lisa, said a prayer, out loud, for the world to hear! (Clearly, that was ALL God!) After the prayer I called Amy to get some reassurance before posting the video…but of course she didn’t answer. While she was asleep, I know she didn’t answer because wanted me to turn to Him, not her. He had already told me what to do and I did not need encouragement from her to do what He ordered. (Let that marinate for a bit).
The video took some time to upload but when it did I felt at peace. I felt the peace and comfort that is mentioned in the Bible after victorious battles. That “peace” came from knowing that I had done as the Lord had instructed. I was obedient. I had surrendered to His will and His way. I had said Yes. “Coincidentally,” after the post had uploaded, “Say Yes” by the Shekinah Glory Ministry came on Pandora. This was the song that played right before I got in the car accident (you know, the accident that changed my life) and the song that played on Friday at the Seven Last Words. Apparently, this is the song that God is using to speak to me.
Let me digress for a bit…
I say the accident changed my life because it took ALMOST everything from me.
It took my car.
It took my health.
It took my finances.
It took my job.
It took my relationship.
It took my material comforts.
But it didn’t take my FAITH.
For it was when I had lost almost everything that I realized just how much I truly had- I had God and He was more than enough.
So here it is, the song that played just before the crash, the same song that played at Good Friday service, now playing after I posted this video to FB. And it was all the confirmation and reassurance that I needed.
God has something that He needs me to do. He needs me to trust Him above all others. He needs me to be obedient. He needs just that mustard seed faith from me.
So I surrendered.
And then He rocked me in the cradle of His arms and allowed me to sleep.