During a weekend that should have been focused on freedom and liberty, my mind was trapped in the pain of my youth, struggling greatly to catch my breath and find relief from the agony that consumed me. Not this ish again…

Last week in my EMDR session, my therapist asked me to share memories of my past that came to mind as we worked to tackle my severe trust issues. The moments that I shared were both vulnerable and authentic, easy to release from the vault of my heart. Yet my therapist asked me to reach out to her if more memories came to mind so that she could help me through them until I returned after my trip to Denver. I didn’t expect to need to email her, yet on Friday morning, I did share two memories that continue to immobilize me and render me frozen in time.

As someone who often over-shares, I am using the utmost level of discretion by NOT sharing the two memories that I wrote in that email to my therapist. For better understanding, I have only shared those two moments with God, this therapist, and [possibly] the police back when I was eight years old. Not even King knows about them. I am equally ashamed and disgusted by those memories, cruel actions that were done to me that have forever changed who I am. The remembrance of those actions caused me to forget who I am and just how far God has brought me. No, as those memories rose to the front of my mind, I reverted back to the timid little girl who was too broken to even utter a word. This weekend as I attended meetings at a convention, I sat distraught- a tattered shell of myself desperately needing love and support from someone who was over 1,500 miles away from me. I did not have the ability to just process my feelings; I had to be “present” in moments when I just wanted to be held. There was no time to be me. However, to be very honest, I also refuse to live like that anymore. For the second half of 2026, I am refusing to allow the devastation of my past to continue paralyzing my present. I absolutely refuse to give anymore power to the pain of my past.

Today’s blog is intentionally short as I am writing from my cell phone as I sit in the Denver Convention Center. I am trying to be present for both the words that are being shared here, and the feelings of my heart. It’s exhausting. Carrying the weight of those moments has become far too much for me to continue to carry. So I release the pain today and declare my freedom.

Be blessed.