Before going any further, there is something that you should know about me: I truly do love the Lord. The name of this website and ministry is not by happenstance- it was by divine revelation from the Lord. On January 3, 2017, God spoke to me and said that it was time to share my testimony of His goodness with the world. Specifically, He said that “life” or “sh!t” didn’t happen to me; He (God) happened to me. And even though I initially misunderstood His calling, that did not change His message or goal. So, here I am nine years and some days later, still sharing with others about how good God is AND how if He happened to me, He can (and will) happen to you.
However, let the record reflect that I do not have a strong affinity for religion.
Last week, I shared about how a lack of well-defined bumpers and boundaries in my life led to a 3-pound gain during the first week of winter break. I may have even touched upon how neurodivergent people like me truly need boundaries to feel safe. But what I did not mention is how quickly boundaries- if manipulated- can turn into restraints and bondage. I definitely did not talk about how some people prey on our need for structure to force us into submission to their beliefs and ideology, hoping- PRAYING- that we never wake up and learn the truth. This bondage can be found in all types of relationships- familial, romantic, platonic, professional, political, and religious. All it takes is one person who is dedicated (yet easily influenced) and at least one other person who desires control and complete dominance. That part- I like nothing about that… and unfortunately, that’s what religion has become (in my opinion) in 2025 and beyond.
Back in the days of enslavement, it was illegal to teach an enslaved person how to read. History shows that when enslaved/formally enslaved people learned how to read, they developed a better understanding of systems and realized that they did not have to receive the treatment that they were receiving. Many “owners” of enslaved people would quote one or two verses from the Bible (definitely Old Testament) to justify their enslavement of others. (Because, obviously, reading about how Christ set us free would not be a good thing to read to those that you want to keep enslaved and in servitude to you.) However, what they would never highlight was how the Bible called for the proper treatment of those who were enslaved, the release of their enslavement, and how none of that was even mentioned in the New Testament. But since Blacks couldn’t read, they never knew this. Fast forward to times of Jim Crow laws and the Civil Rights Movement, yet again, we faced a time in history when the marginalized community was unaware of the words written in the Constitution or its Amendments because they could not read. Historically, boundaries have been weaponized for the ill-gotten gain of others, and, not surprisingly, religion is just one way where manipulation has occurred/can occur.
I grew up in the church. From my earliest memory (so, age 8), I can remember spending every Sunday until I went to college in somebody’s church. There was even a period of time when I went to multiple services on Sunday and then attended church events during the week. Every NYE, I was in service, and when the clock struck midnight, my fellow church members and I would listen to hear the pastor wish us all a Happy New Year. I attended Vacation Bible School, Sunday School, and weekly Wednesday services during the season of Lent. I was a Baptist- baptized believer of Jesus the Christ- and my attendance records would surely attest to my “earned” seat in Heaven. As with most college students, my attendance dipped during the school year. Although I was just 45-minutes down the road, it was far enough for me to rule weekly services out of order and focus more on working… or soothing a hangover. Despite all of my years of church, as I get older, I find myself less enthralled by the pomp and circumstance and more in need of a real relationship.
After having written all that is above, I feel that I must explain to you my understanding of the difference between relationship and religion. According to Merriam-Webster, religion is defined as both “an organized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices” and “the religious beliefs, observances, and social practices found within a given cultural context.” To summarize in my own words, religion is what we see externally on or about a person. If a woman wears a hijab, we know that she identifies as Muslim. If a man wears a yarmulke, we know that he identifies as Jewish. If a person wears a cross, we know that they identify as a Christian. However, all of those outward expressions of religion lend no understanding to the person’s relationship with God. Relationship is internal, intimate, and personal. No matter how public the religion may be, only God knows the status of the relationship.
Beloved, for some, the boundaries of religion work extremely well at safeguarding from undesired behavior. Conversely, I will say that for me, religion contributed greatly to my desire to please humans and did not enhance my relationship with Christ. All of those years of going to church every single Sunday did not strengthen my prayer life, help me to read the Bible (on my own), or cause me to choose Christ on my own. I say this next part both confidently and cautiously- religion without relationship is just indoctrination. Going through the motions just to appear as a “good [insert your religion here]“ creates a group of followers who are blind, deaf, and ignorant, too ingrained in the system to realize or act differently. I no longer desired that for myself, and I definitely don’t desire that for you.
With today being the last Monday in January, I am issuing a challenge to you- do something today to strengthen your relationship with God. Whether it is prayer, serving others, or something else, do something that is kept just between you and your God (not shared with the world). Let this be your New Year’s Resolution- to put a relationship with God above all else.
I love you; be blessed.
God Happened To ME Ministries, LLC 
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