My 35th birthday is on Friday and I have a wave of emotions flowing through me right now.
First, let me say that I am grateful to be at this place in my life. For the first time ever, I am in a career that I truly feel satisfied by and I wake up every morning truly ready to walk in my calling. On the flip side, as I sit to write this, I feel the weight of anxiety sitting too comfortably on my shoulders.
I honestly don’t know why I am feeling this way but I just wish the feeling would pass. Unknown fact, as much as I hype up my birthday, I am normally underwhelmed by the reality of what happens. Yes, I’m always grateful for another year of life, but there is always a tinge of uneasiness that finds its way to me. Maybe, just maybe, it has something to do with my womanhood and the fact that I am always on my cycle during my birthday (TMI, I know). Or, maybe, it’s because my heart recalls all of the loved ones who are no longer here to celebrate with me and my heart misses them more at this time.
I’m not sure what the cause may be, but I know that today I am actively fighting against it.
BUSY is an understatement to describe the week that lies ahead. Typically, I arrive at work at 6am (75 minutes early), work for 30mins and then walk a mile around the building for exercise. I then finalize all of my tech for classes and welcome students into my room at 7:15 am. My work day ends at 2:45 pm but, depending on the day, I stay later to get work done for the next day. My graduate classes are back in session, so tonight I have class from 6-8:30 pm, and I have something on my after-work schedule for every day of this week. When my birthday finally does arrive, I will have my first in-class observation of the school year and then I’m RUNNING out of the door to get my cake and celebrate my way. The downside to having a Labor Day birthday is that visiting a beach is NEVER a good option (because that’s where everyone else will be). Instead, I am driving down to Richmond for some good food and a little R & R.
I just have to make it through this week first.
As I mentioned, I am experiencing a wave of emotions and, as such, there are some good feelings in there, too! After spending the first 34 years of my life unsure of what I wanted to do, God not only revealed my purpose, but He also paved the way for me to walk divinely in that purpose. I 10000% love my career! I LOVE teaching, I LOVE working with teenagers, and I LOVE helping to prepare them for the world that lies ahead of them. I have several students who come to my classroom everyday just to talk to me and tell me about their day. Trust me when I say, I LIVE for this! Grateful does not even begin to describe the feelings of my heart.
So that’s what I’ll focus on.
I’ve had some good days, I’ve had some hills to climb… but through it all, my God has been good.
Beloved, the ‘nalia that I wear today and everyday is that of a Believer.