Sometimes…

I’m sorry; but sometimes I do not want to hear your joyfulness and glee.
Sometimes I just want to wallow in my own issues.
Yeah, I know it’s not helpful or healthy, but it feels good sometimes.

Sometimes I just want to cuddle up in my bed and pretend that adulting was never invented.
I want to just throw away my cell phone, my alarm clock, and my responsibilities sometimes.
Yeah, I know it’s not realistic or possible, but it feels good sometimes.

Sometimes I sit in my car, ignoring whatever reality lies on the other side of the door.
I even walk and roam the aisles of Walmart sometimes to clear my mind without driving too far.
Yeah, I know it’s crazy and a waste of time, but it feels good sometimes.

Sometimes I just look out of my window and imagine any other life but the one I’m living.
I dream of my life as a princess, without my current cares, sometimes.
Yeah, I know it’s childish and pointless, but it feels good sometimes.

Sometimes life is too overwhelming.
It gets too hard to deal with all of the demands and changes of the world, sometimes.
Sometimes I think to disappear for good, escaping to a desert island for peace and relaxation.
The solution to problems is avoidance, I think, sometimes.

But then I close my eyes, and I see life.
I see the sun of my Butterfly’s smile or the sun setting in the sky and I feel renewed.
I think on the good things of life and I feel whole.
The emptiness of yesterday passes away, and newness in today reigns free.
Wounds heal and scars fade; everything becomes new.
Love blossoms and hope blooms.

Sometimes life is too hard to bear.
Yet sometimes, albeit most of the time, the pain has purpose.

Sometimes I just want to run and cower.
But sometimes, I run straight ahead and embrace it all.