Speechless…

When I was a child, I was very shy. I think it was a coping mechanism for me, allowing me to protect myself from perceived danger. As I got older, I evolved into what is called an extroverted introvert (meaning I was reclusive and shy by nature, but in certain moments, I could be outgoing). Today, if I were being honest with you and myself, I would say that I am an extrovert…with some introverted tendencies. I love being around people, but my source of power and energy comes from my alone times with the Lord. When I am in a room with people, my personality no longer fades to the back and my presence is definitely felt… unless my ADD is winning that day, in which case I intentionally isolate myself.

In the years since reconnecting with my dad’s side of the family, I have learned and fully embraced the family motto: give an Early a mic and they will talk. I also learned that the “family business” is talking about God to anyone with an ear. As I sit here, 31.5 years old, I can honestly say that I am not shy, and I am very seldom at a loss for words…except for when it comes to God.

Sharing my testimony- written and verbally- has gotten easier, as God has strengthened me. I am also able to get in front of a room full of children to teach or mentor and I can even speak to a room full of colleagues, sharing my opinion on work matters. But when it comes to finding the adequate words to describe the Provider who sees to my every need, breathes new breath of life into me daily, and loves me beyond my sins, I tend to become speechless.

Maybe there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe the One who saved me from the trauma of my past, or maybe I am not well versed in the English language enough to know these words. Maybe Greek, Aramaic, and Hebrew words can best explain how a God whom I cannot see is able to fill me with His very Spirit and presence, comforting me through every situation that I face in my life. But, alas, I do not know those languages. In the verbal and written language that I speak, there are no words to glorify my Abba who knew and loved me before I was even conceived in my mother’s womb. No, there are no words great enough to describe Him, but there is one word to describe how the mere thought of Him leaves me: SPEECHLESS.

Open your bibles to Habakkuk 2 (Verse 20, NKJV, is below):

“But the Lord is in His holy temple.
Let all the earth keep silence before Him.”

Habakkuk was a prophet who lived after the evil reign of King Manasseh and King Ammon of Judah. He had experienced many trials and disasters in his life that most likely stemmed from the years of wayward living experienced during the reign of the two aforementioned kings. Yet God still chose to use Habakkuk to bring forth His words to His children. Unlike like other books in the Bible written by prophets, the book of Habakkuk contains his questions to God and God’s responses to those questions.

In reading chapter 2 we see that Habakkuk is readying himself for something. What is that “something”, you may ask? He is readying himself for God’s response to his question regarding the Babylonians. Habakkuk asked his question and then settled down to await God’s answer, whatever it may be. Beginning at Habakkuk 2:2 we see [read] God’s response. We see that God is telling Habakkuk to write the vision that He is revealing so that the children of Israel could know what thus saith the Lord. God was also saying that the vision would come true in its time, and would not delay, but it would require the people to wait for it. By the time we get to verse 20 and the end of the chapter, we see that the Lord says that as He is in His holy temple, the earth will keep silence before Him.

Silence.

Silent.

Or as the New English Translation says, speechless.

Typically, when people from the Bible were in the physical or spiritual presence of the Lord and they acknowledged His sovereignty, there are no words to say.

Personally, when I think of God and all that He has done for me, there are no words for me to say. I tend to become overwhelmed with His Spirit, tears come to my eyes, and I sway back and forth. Occasionally I may let out a shout of “Hallelujah” or “Thank You, Jesus” but mostly I am silent. Me, the otherwise loquacious Early, becomes speechless by the mere thought of my Redeemer. Even as I sat down to write this Monday Message, I listened to my Spotify Gospel station and sat speechless, as I could not think of any words to explain my love for Jehovah. But as I recall a post I shared on Facebook yesterday, Anita Wilson summed up my heart with one sentence, “I’m so in awe of You; Lord, You leave me speechless.”

My words will never be adequate or eloquent enough…

My deeds will never be good enough…

My thoughts will never be profound enough…

… to give the Lord all of the praise, honor, and glory that He deserves.

When it comes to Him, I am speechless.

Be blessed.