Like a soothing balm, God’s peace calmed my soul.
On paper, I had prepared in the best of ways for the job interview. I had tweaked my resume to ensure that it aligned with the specifics of the job duties and even created a custom cover letter for the position. I had asked ChatGPT to give me sample questions that I might be asked to help me prepare myself with answers that were sure to wow my principal. And I had even asked ChatGPT to perform a S.W.O.T. Analysis on me to ensure that I knew my own areas of strength, weakness, opportunities, and threats. I had done all of the things that I would advise my students to do before a job interview, and, even with it being winter spirit week, I still managed to look somewhat professional and radiant in a unique way. I had packed my portfolio that I always carried to job interviews, printed copies of newsletters that I send home to families, arrived at the interview 15 minutes early, and I had prayed immensely on the walk from my classroom to the front office. Yet all of my preparation fell by the wayside within the first three minutes of the interview. Despite having consumed large quantities of water, my mouth felt drier than the Sahara Desert every time I opened my mouth to speak, and I felt like a broken and defective record as I gave what must have sounded like the same answer to every question.
All that time.
All that planning.
All that consideration.
And I bombed the interview.
This was the position that I had prayed for, at the school where I currently worked, and nothing seemed like a better fit. I had just spoken to God a few weeks earlier, mentioning how I believe that I could continue to grow in that particular role and how it would be great if the position became available at my current location. Then I quickly dismissed the thought because the person holding the position was a dear colleague and not only did I believe that they would never leave, I did not want them to leave anyway. Yet on that Thursday when a district-wide email came out about the vacancy, my heart fluttered for a bit. I immediately called my colleague to inquire about the posting, and after a lengthy conversation, I made up my mind to apply. To be honest, the person holding the position that I desire encouraged me to apply. Maybe it was just the “kind” thing to do, or maybe they truly believed that I would be a good fit for the position. Regardless of the reason, I thanked them for their kindness, wished them the best in their soon-to-be role, and proceeded to apply to what I believed was the position of a lifetime.
I had only told a few people that I had applied, including one student who is like a daughter to me. I wanted to keep the number of those in the know to a small number, so as to not get everyone’s (or my) hopes up. I figured the fewer people who knew, the fewer would be able to sit in a place of disappointment with me if I didn’t get the position. But, to be honest, I did not foresee failure as an option or a possibility. Truthfully, I thought that it would work out perfectly! I thought that I would ace the interview, be offered the position, and that another colleague of mine who was trying to become a full-time teacher would get my current position. I had it all planned out in my mind! So when I arrived at work that Monday before winter break and saw the interview invitation in my email, I was excited, and I quickly responded with my preferred meeting time. As I planned, I prayed, and as I prayed, I prepared my heart. I was so ready; I knew this was for me.
After I interviewed, I immediately called King. I told him that I did not believe that I had performed my best in the interview, yet I truly believed that what God had for me would be for me. I knew that God was benevolent and that He would only give me what He had intentionally designed for me, and that what may appear as a NO right now was actually a “NOT YET” and that my time would come. God had reminded me that He had never left me and never would, and that He would never forsake me. All of the scriptures of God’s love for me and desires for my life came back to me like a flood, breaking the dams of my mind. I think King could hear the disappointment in my voice, and he lovingly encouraged me not perseverate on the interview. I unknowingly masked and told him that I would be fine and that the best part of the ADHD medicine is that I would soon forget about the interview. Turns out, that was a lie. With each passing moment of the day, I replayed every moment of that interview, hating myself more and more with each replay. By the time it was time for me to go to bed, I cried out to the Lord, begging Him to allow me to think about anything else in the world except for that interview. Sadly, as I lay in bed that night, tears flowing from my puffy eyes, all I could think about was that interview, and the thought just made me cry more.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt as though I had been emotionally KO’d by Mohammed Ali. I needed to find the energy to press through what was going to be a very long day. My three classes had a test scheduled for the day, then I had a party for my club after school, followed by a board meeting in the evening. My schedule was packed, yet my heart was empty. I felt like a failure and a fraud- how could I talk about something that I clearly could not do well myself? I plastered on a smile and my flannel attire (spirit week, remember?), and I went to work. I continued to pray for God’s strength as I ducked and dodged the two people who had interviewed me the day before. I was afraid that if I had made eye contact with them, I would see the disappointment on their faces about my interview skills… or worse, that their smiles would reveal I had not gotten the job. By the end of the party, I was both grateful that the students had enjoyed themselves and grateful to be heading out of the building. I arrived at the office building for the board meeting emotionally drained and ready for bed. Turns out my flannel was just making me sleepy, and I wanted nothing more than to call it a night. Yet something happened in that meeting; I don’t know when or why, but a switch flipped for me, and I still sit in awe…
At some moment, unbeknownst to me, God’s Holy Spirit wrapped itself around me, comforting me most beautifully. The anxiety, self-doubt, hatred, and more that I had been feeling left me, and I was enveloped in God’s warm embrace. The thoughts of the interview- my “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” all faded from the forefront of my mind and were replaced with thoughts of joy, gratitude, and peace. I walked out of the building that night, elated for the transformation, though I still have no clue how it happened… and if I’m being honest with myself, I do not care. That night, when I went to bed, I found myself crying for a different reason. This time joy had found me, and I cried tears of thanksgiving and thankfulness to my Abba. All of my previous thoughts were gone as I lay in peace, in harmony with the Lord.
At the time of this writing, I have learned that I was not selected for the position. Initially, my principal had hoped to complete all the interviews and notify the candidates before the start of winter break; however, I randomly checked my email and learned of my fate. I do not know who interviewed (or how many), but I do know that sometime later this month, someone will begin their journey in this coveted position. It took a lot of prayer and a lot of tears to reach the point where I can truly say that I am at peace with whatever decision is made. What I know with no doubt is that my God is both good and omniscient. Because He knows yesterday, today, and forevermore, I can trust that this decision was for my GOOD. My day will come, and this was not a NO, it was God’s “not yet.” I know that I am blessed in my going out and my coming in, meaning that if I remain a classroom teacher, God will bless me there, or if He elevates me elsewhere, He will bless me there, too. I truly am safe in His arms, and that is enough to calm my soul.
Beloved, we are five days in, and as we continue walking in this new year of 2026, we must get to that place where we fully trust the Lord. Every year, I meet with the Lord and listen as He gives me my focus for that year. This year He has called me to write and, to be honest, I am so excited! As someone who DESPISED writing in school, it always amuses me how much I love it now. While I do not know what this year will hold, I do know Who holds my hand… and that my other hand will be holding a [literal or figurative] pen. May this new year bring a flood of God’s blessings, so much so that you do not have room to receive them! And may it continue to help you see His faithful and unchanging hand in your life.
Be blessed.
God Happened To ME Ministries, LLC 
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