The stress that had consumed me for the past few years was beginning to show itself in the frailty of my locs, and I sat confounded on how to undo the damage that had been done.

Naively, I truly thought that, having spent 10 days resting, I could undo the stress that I had experienced for the last 11 months. Yes, I realize how ludicrous that sounds even as I write it, but I really did think that for at least the first eight days since the school year ended. However, today I am humbled by how God is speaking to my heart and urging me to seek unadulterated rest with almost the same vigor that I seek Him. Not the same; just almost.

For the past four years, I have professionally joined every committee, attended every meeting, ran for every position, co-chaired every club, and absolutely did the most. ADHD had me thinking that I was invincible and perfectly capable of doing all the things. My principal, my therapist, my Love, and anyone with a pulse tried to talk me out of adding the world to my plate, but I believed that I could, so I did. As it turns out, I cannot do all the things, and my body is screaming in protest for me to eliminate, not reduce, my load. Last month, as I sat in my therapy session, I told my therapist that I feared God was reducing my load because I was about to endure a major health crisis. My therapist urged me to change my perspective to believe that, instead, God was removing items from my plate so that I could focus on preventative health measures. Yes, God could see that danger was coming soon, but He did not want me to fall to the illness, so changes needed to be made now. I truly thought that by stepping down from responsibilities and learning how to say no, I could learn how to put my health first. But losing my locs? Were things really that bad?

As I have learned from ChatGPT and the reels of others, what I put and allow in my body radiates on the outside of my body. The protein and water that I consume allow for my hair to grow, my skin to glow, and my body to flow. Without those crucial items, my hair growth lags, my skin sags, and my body drags. Rhyming aside, read that part again- what goes in will always come out. Unfortunately, I have put stress, anxiety, and crap in my body leading it to release lackluster energy and disappointing, yet should-have-been expected results. When my mental health declined, everything in my life started to fall apart, too.

So here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, waiting for a miracle. No, I’m not waiting for my locs to magically heal and be restored because that is not how hair works. Yet what I am waiting for is a healing that only God can provide. However, before I receive this healing, I have to release all of the other things that consume my heart and mind instead.

Beloved, what are you holding onto tighter than you are holding onto God? What do you need to let go of so that God can give you the blessings He has in store for you? Personally, I am asking God to help me let go of the stress, the desire to please others, and feelings of rejection that consume me. I truly believe that if I let go of those things, God can continue His work. Releasing these things will not be easy, so I ask that you continue to check back so that we can both share our development stories with one another.

In the meantime, let’s just drink our water and let everything grow.

Be blessed.