Grief has a way of utterly debilitating you and rendering you immobile when you least expect it. And for me, yesterday was that day.

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I had just gotten back from an amazing learning experience in Providence, Rhode Island on Saturday and I was supposed to use yesterday as a day to rest my body and prepare for the last 10 school days in 2024. Yet when I went downstairs to put in a DVD of my favorite Christmas movie, a lost remote control thwarted my plans and sparked tears to flow out of me that I never expected to release. This movie that I watched every December with my best friend for decades was now just another reminder of a devastating loss that was still killing me, one memory at a time.

When King arrived to pick up some items, I literally cried in his arms. I don’t know a memory could evoke such emotions and derail my day the way it had, yet there I was literally struggling to see past my tears.

The holiday season has always been a difficult time for me. Between the passing of the only grandparent that I had known and the passing of two uncles (years ago, in the month of December) this month just comes with some thorns that I still struggle to navigate around. But those are just the physical deaths. December also contains the memories of dreams unfulfilled, friendships irreversibly severed, and the willing abandonment of loved ones. I work so hard to smile beyond the thoughts and put on a mask to hide my feelings, but the truth is, by the time December rolls around, all I really want is to celebrate Jesus’ birthday, get great naps, and bypass everything else about the month.

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Beloved, somewhere in the midst of my words is encouragement. It may be buried deeply but encouragement is here somewhere. How do I know? Because God’s Word says that once I accepted Christ, His Spirit dwells with me wherever I may go.

That means that in the good, God is there.
In the bad, God is there.
And in the grief, God is there, too.

God’s Word also says that where Christ is, there is liberty. So, there is your encouragement… and mine, too. And today, that’s all that I have to give. As I navigate the stages and process that I have a heart that is filled with grief, I am desperately clinging to the hope and promise of better days to come.

And for that, I give God praise.

Be blessed.