Something to know about me- I am an introvert.

By the truest definition of the term, I am someone who not only enjoys being alone, but thrives in moments of solitude. After days of busyness and high amounts of people-ing, I seek moments where I can just be alone with my iPad, watching something good on a streaming service and ignoring the world around me. I love what I do for a living but socially engaging with others depletes me in a way that I cannot even begin to explain with words.

A recharge is necessary.

While my definition of a recharge may differ from that of others, the concept is still the same- allow my social battery the opportunity to get back to where it once was before engaging in anything else. Often I schedule a “M.E. Day” in my shared calendars, step away from social media, ensure that my phones are both set to Do Not Disturb, and intentionally gather myself. Yesterday I did just that in addition to doing laundry, washing my locs, and cleaning my bathroom. Nothing glamorous at all, yet it was such a beautiful day!

Yet to be honest, there are moments when I feel guilty. Physical illnesses are more readily accepted by society, while mental illness is often disregarded as a “luxury” or “White people problems.” Having grown up in not just a Black household but specifically a Jamaican household, depression and anxiety were perceived as excuses to be lazy. As such, even to this day, I often feel like I am letting others down by missing events, I feel like I’m unduly inaccessible when my phone is silenced, and I feel like I’m a “bad Christian” when I stay home from church. However, it is in those moments when I have to recall the pain of The Dark Place. That time when a shell of Chelle showed up at every event out of a warped notion of obligation. That time when I answered every call and did everything that was asked of me, fearing that saying NO would ostracize me. That time when my body merely entered the house of worship but I was dead on the inside, with not a praise or a shout of joy to be found.

I vividly remember my breakdown of 2016 and when I am able to take them, these moments of recharge help me to fight depression and anxiety so that the darkness of 2016, doesn’t find its way into 2024… or beyond. When I was younger, I did not know how to ask for this in fact, I don’t think even knew that I needed this. Yet today at the blossoming age of 38, I recognize that pausing to breathe during a race allows for a greater chance of completing the race… and that is my truest desire after all.

---

Beloved, today I am intentionally short on words but not because I don’t have much to share. On this last Monday of November, my mind is exhausted as I try to process the blimp of the year that was (I mean, is) 2024, yet I am trying to walk in the dual lanes of authenticity and intentionality. Just as quickly as it started, this year is coming to an end and I feel like all I have to show for it is some finely edited reels and strategically situated extra pounds. Were there beautiful moments this year? YES; God gave them in abundance and I am forever grateful! Yet were there moments that just flew by without warning? Also yes. As such, I am extending GRACE to myself and trying to sop up restful moments of pausing and recharging like I’m at a Thanksgiving dinner table sopping up homemade gravy with a warm biscuit. (Hmm, that just sounds DELICIOUS!!!!)

Today I am encouraging you to take the time that you would typically allocate for reading this blog, to reflect on the blessings and lessons of 2024, while intentionally recharging for God’s next. Whether you choose to journal, listen to music, create a vision board, or simply meditate, spend the next 5 minutes alone with God, thanking Him for what was and is, while rejoicing for what will be.

Thank me later.

Happy Thanksgiving and be blessed.