If you would have told me eight years ago that I would have locs, I would have laughed in your face. Locs seemed like such a permanent thing and I was not a “permanent” type of woman at that time. Furthermore, I believed that when people had locs, their locs were PERFECT and thick, healthy beyond words, and never showing any signs of distress or breakage.

Well, I did get locs and, guess what, they are not perfect. The sizes are subtly different, lengths vary due to breakage (more on that in a moment), and I have some stubborn locs that live life on their own terms. Yet what prompted me to write this piece today are the dozen or so locs that are experiencing some breakage towards the end of loc and causing me to sit down and process everything that is happening in my life.

Those locs are literally dead ends.

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Ok friend, did you know that the hair you see coming from your head is already dead? I don’t remember all of the science-y details, but this much I know- the hair is dead and there is nothing that we can do about it. All of the products and styling routines that we use and go through are to make healthy, what is already dead. Sounds silly, right? Well, add to that the fact we [women] allow our hair to define us, determining our worth, beauty, and level of professional and societal ascension.

In 2006 when India.Arie crooned “I am not my hair”, I remember swinging my freshly relaxed hair back and forth, singing along with her and belting out the lyrics as if I had written them myself. At that time I had no clue that I would eventually start my own natural hair journey and that my journey would take me to the point of loc’ing my hair. Again, I believed that locs were permanent and I was way too flaky to ever commit to something that permanent. Yet even then, I could not ignore the truth that India.Arie had spoken:

“Good hair means curls and waves (no)
Bad hair means you look like a slave (no)
At the turn of the century
It’s time for us to redefine who we be…”

Beloved, let’s redefine ourselves.

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You may find it odd that on a site that only talks about God, I have chosen to talk about hair today. Well, little do you know that God has given me the amazing gift of being able to identify a connection in every situation. LOL!

In life, we often hold onto the belief of our own identity, above that of what God has spoken. We value jobs, titles, and other earthly possessions over the One who has valued us since the beginning of time. As we redefine who we are by letting go of the belief that we must look or act a certain way in order to find success in today’s society, let us start by cutting those dead ends.

In hair terms, dead ends (or split ends) are the dangly pieces of our hair that have incurred some level of damage rendering them detached and useless from the other part of the hair. Oftentimes we want to retain the dead ends because they give a false impression of length and we feel comforted by that. However, if we were honest with ourselves we would accept the truth that those dead ends will often continue to spread and damage other parts of the hair shaft.

Yes, the dead will spread if we aren’t careful.

And as quiet as it’s kept, the same can happen in our lives.

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Sweet friend, who or what is the “dead end” in your life? You know, that person or thing that feels like a necessity but is truly just an anchor, giving false support while actually prohibiting your growth. Who or what is it? Because we are imperfect human beings, I can say with certainty that a dead end exists in our lives… and today is the day that we must cut it loose. Cutting off that dead end allows for both growth and a true redefinition of one’s self.

While I don’t know when I started noticing breakage in my locs, I do believe that I have identified a cause- stress. It is scary how many negative and undesired effects come from continual stress in one’s life. From thinning hair, to obsessive eating, to mental health issues, to digestive issues, stress slowly destroyed so many aspects of my life and the breakage in my locs was just another visible identifier of what was going on in my life.

Locs, like trees, tell a story about time. Based on where the breakage/thinning is in my own locs, I can recall what was happening in my life at that time. My locs were under a year old and I had been in a bad car accident that financially and physically prevented me from continuing with my loctician so I started doing my own hair. A few months after the accident, I lost my job and had to move back in with my mother following the break-up of me and my then-boyfriend. I had a lot going on. I was fragile and trying to hold onto both my sanity and my faith. In holding both of those valuable pieces, my health took a back seat and just hoped for smooth travel.

Now as I look at those dead ends representing a difficult time in my life, I recognize that in trying to keep them, I am trying to hold onto something that no longer serves me. They are damaged; they are dead. And I can confidently declare that it is time…

…time to cut dead ends.

Be blessed.