Ok, either my entertainment selection is trash, or all of the media is all the same today. In either case, no matter what I watch or pass in the scroll, one phrase that keeps dancing across the screen is “the ick” and, ironically, the phrase itself gives me the ick and I actually kind of hate it.

Yet, here we go!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, “the ick” refers to a sudden feeling of repulsion that arises in a romantic (or romantically budding) relationship. To be clear, this is different from someone instantly being unattractive to someone because in order to qualify for “the ick” some level of attraction had to be there initially. In today’s modern dating world, this is a phrase that is now being spoken by women at every age bracket. I hear it in the hallways of the high school where I work, I see it on television, and I read about it in pretty much every post that I see. And in every situation, the story is the same, some woman finds a man attractive, everything seems to be going well, and then the man will do something very human in nature inadvertently repulsing the woman and she runs faster than the speed of sound to end things with the man. From what I’ve seen, only women get the ick and apparently it happens often. The ick is not the same as a red flag and is subjective to one particular person. Meaning, multiple people may find a red flag to be a deal-breaker, but with an ick, it may only be a problem for one person. For so long I thought that the term was ridiculous and I swore I would never use it, yet yesterday as I was watching a television show I heard it and it resonated with my heart in a new way.

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What do we do when we get “the ick” about God, faith, and church?

Since the dawn of social media, I have seen this post that asks Believers why we give up on church after one mistake/issue, but we don’t give up on businesses when they do the same. It’s a great question and, in my opinion, one that deserves an answer. Yet I think the reality is, if we were being honest with ourselves, we would admit that we either had a lack of faith, or we placed our feelings over our faith. In either case, we got the ick and quickly ran away from what we once loved.

Part of our issue is that we believe that we are perfect and incapable of making mistakes. We think this when we are in relationships with anyone, believing that the problem could never be us and it has to be the other person causing the dissension. Then we carry that thought into the church house. We put ourselves and others on such a high pedestal that when slippage occurs, we don’t know how to respond except to say that we no longer want to deal with the people or church that caused us pain. Forget the idea of trying to heal hurts or mend bridges, leaving issues unaddressed and unresolved is easier so that’s what we do.

We’ve got to stop this.
We’ve got to stop believing that perfection is attainable from imperfect beings.
When we let go of that foolish thought, then and only then will we take all power from “the ick.”
Mainly, because it is absolutely ridiculous and a sign of our selfishness and insecurities, not a sign of the other person’s flaws.

Beloved, I hate to be the one to tell you this but you’re not perfect. You will make mistakes. You will stumble and at times, you will fall. Your hair will get out of place and you will miss an accidental odor that someone else will find. You will say the wrong thing and you will wish that you could take it back. You will procrastinate and you will miss a deadline. You will forget something important and you will regret it later. You will do something embarrassing and you will pray that you are not remembered for it. You WILL because we are humans- imperfect yet beautifully created in God’s image and grace.

Grace.

There’s that word again.
That word means we recognize that progression was always the goal, never perfection.
That word means we will stop expecting from others what we ourselves fail to give to God.
That word means we will continue trying and not lose faith in the midst of storms.

So, what do we do when we get the ick about God, faith, and the church? Start by realizing that we are imperfect, pray for discernment, and seek life-changing answers.

Oh, and apply grace like it’s Old Bay on some fresh cut fries hot out of the fryer- generously and with no regards to anything else in life. 🙂

Be blessed.