Lord, receive my worship…

I have a confession, Beloved- I did not attend a physical or virtual church service yesterday. Originally, I was supposed to visit a local church so that I could assist with some prom clothing donations after service. Yet when I woke up Sunday morning, I felt a pull on my heart to worship God in a very different way.

Instead of putting on “church clothes” and heading to my church or the other church, I put on my new sauna shorts (click HERE if interested), a t-shirt that appropriately said “Jesus loves this hot mess”, laced up my sneakers, and headed towards the gym. This may be hard to understand, but I wanted to worship God by honoring the temple that He has so generously loaned me. I know, that seems so weird to say, but I chose the gym and service in my heart, over a traditional worship experience… and I felt FULL.

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For the past seven years, I have been on this healing journey to better understand God, myself, and our relationship with one another. Along the way I discovered that I truly am unorthodox and there is no way to make me fit into a box that was never made for me in the first place.

I grew up in the church. Every Sunday I was at church for a minimum of four hours, actively serving the Lord, while passively receiving His Word. Being in church was the “right” thing to do, so I did it. With a smile plastered on my face, I went to church to socialize with others, clap when everyone else did, and stand at the appropriate times… all while never dining on the gospel meat that was being offered to all who would listen. I was just a body there; I was never truly a present and I did not really know God for myself.

Naturally, when I turned 18 years old and I was no longer forced to attend church, I didn’t. I did whatever I wanted to do and I would go back to church whenever I was in town and wanted to. I was very lost (I readily admit that), yet I believed that God was nearby (what He was doing, I did not know… but I knew He was near). As “sinful and shameful” as that might sound to some, I had to get to a point where I wholeheartedly desired God and wanted to worship Him. My only issue is, worship for me was never limited to the four walls of an edifice.

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The late Apostle Dr. Timothy Early (yes, that’s my uncle), was quoted to have once said that he didn’t desire to necessarily be in a pulpit, but that he desired to “pull people out of their pits.” When I entered ministry six years ago, I held onto that because I knew that I was different from the preachers around me… and I had no desire to ever be like them. Yes, they are PHENOMENAL and I learn from them on the regular, but imitating them, preaching like them, serving like them- was never my heart’s desire. God could have called me before the tattoos, before the piercings, before the locs, before I even left church the first time… but He didn’t. When He called me, He called me from a broken place and allowed that brokenness to be the foundation of my testimony. God chose to use my mended brokenness to show others just how mighty He truly is.

And that’s how I ended up in the gym yesterday morning.

In May 2019, I randomly passed out after taking a shower. I went to the emergency department and found out that I had the smallest of heart murmurs and gallstones. And, if I’m being honest with myself and you, I used that diagnosis as a reason to skip out on the daily workouts that had been my companion for the 18 months preceding that visit. I told myself that I needed to go easy on myself. Well, going easy turned into not working out daily… which turned into comfort eating… which, compounded with the pandemic and the lockdown, turned into a 60 pound weight gain over the past five years. Somewhere along the lines I fell out of love with my health and wellness… and I began to take my body for granted.

Even with me knowing that like most Black people diabetes and heart diseases runs in my family, I found it difficult to maintain a lifestyle that lent itself to wellness, not illness. Losing weight was one thing, but being healthy- physically, emotionally, and mentally- was something totally different. In 2018 and early 2019, I loved the gym and I loved my morning runs… where had the love gone? Where had the mutual respect for my body gone? Where had the honoring of God’s temple gone?

Yesterday morning when I woke up, I rose with a song in my heart and a fire in my bones to skip all excuses and go straight to the gym. I was so inspired that I almost walked the 3 miles to the gym but then realized that I needed to get some groceries, too, so driving was better. I wanted to take a moment to thank God for the strength and resiliency that He had given me, while also pushing the limits of my endurance and finally show up for myself. I wanted to truly make my health a priority again so I made the decision to worship God at the gym.

Receive my worship, all of my worship.

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Beloved, I am in no way, shape, or form saying that we should “forsake the assembly” (Hebrews 10:25) and not go to church services, whether in person or virtually. Church is where we learn about God, fellowship with others who are learning about Him, and work on growing together. Church is a place of healing; we can come in sick and receive God’s healing balm that goes with us throughout all eternity. Being able to fellowship with others is important to our growth in Christ. No, I am never telling you to not go to church.

What I am saying is that just as God is omnipresent and exists everywhere all at the same time, it is possible for Him to dwell outside of the church house and meet us wherever we invite Him… even if that place is a gym. When we accept the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior, immediately His Holy Spirit dwells within us and goes with us wherever we go. A gym may not have a preacher and a choir, but it does have you and His power within you is enough to still move mountains. What I am also saying is that if your faith only works inside of a church, if you feel like your prayers can only be heard when you are within the four walls of a religious building, then that’s not a relationship, that’s rigidity.

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Beloved, This message sat on my heart all day yesterday and as I wrote, I played one song on repeat within my head. I invite you so listen to it HERE and let its words and truth speak to you. I have come a long way in my faith, far enough to know that I need God more than anything in this world. Yet I also open my heart and mind to freely worship Him wherever I go. Does yesterday’s worship at the gym mean that I’m avoiding church forever? Nope, not at all! I love going to church and just being a feather in God’s service, swaying to the rhythm of the day. Yet I also love seeing God in every aspect of my life.

Where do you worship? I’m not asking which church you attend but I am asking you where do you feel closest to God? Where do you go when you just want to sit in His presence? Honestly, the gym nor the church are the places that I go when I want to sit in His presence (unorthodox, remember?), yet both places require intentionality and complete surrender… and I have learned to appreciate both places.

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“Lord, You are worthy,
No one can worship You for me.
Here is my worship;
All of my worship.
Receive my worship,
All of my worship.”

My worship is not predicated on my location because my location doesn’t dictate my gratitude. As long as I am breathing, I will worship God, no matter where I am, because He is worthy.

…even if it’s a beach.
…even if it’s a grocery store.
…even if it’s a gym.

Here is my worship.

Be blessed.