The pain radiated through my body like a lightning bolt in a stormy sky. My neck was hurting, struggling to support the weight of my life; my lower back shuddered in pain with each move that my body made; and my right foot ached as I tried to walk off the back pain . This had been my partner for so long that I had forgotten that it was there. It wasn’t until I started to address the source of the pain, that the pain resurfaced, wreaking havoc on my daily existence. And, naturally, once physical pain comes, the emotional pain greets me, dragging me deeper than the physical pain could ever hold me. Disappointments at work and church, coupled with a hormonal shift from Aunt Flow, left me metaphorically huddled in a corner, desperately seeking relief from it all.

“God, I know you are near; please hear my cry!”

My heart

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Beloved, hear me clearly, I make no apologies for not answering calls and texts messages this weekend. I make no apologies for the fact that you may have been looking for me or expecting me to be somewhere but I was not. I make apologies for the fact that I chose M.E. and my mental health over you and the rest of the world. I love you and I love how God is working in our lives as we travel along this healing journey, yet I recognize that I can do absolutely nothing for you if I do not properly take care of me.

So that’s what I did this weekend; I took care of M.E.

While I have two cell phones (don’t ask), only one’s number is commonly known by most. At the beginning of this year I set up a focus mode for that phone so that at the end of my work day on Fridays (2:45pm EST), that phone gets silenced and no notifications come through until Monday morning at 5:30am EST. Those closest to me know that if they truly need me, it’s best to call my other phone (or, simply let me rest). This time alone allows me to relax, restore, and rejuvenate myself before the start of a new week. I truly relish my time of going off the grid and I highly recommend this small self-care tip to all (now, if you have kids and responsibilities, adjust and plan accordingly).

The beauty of these moments is that I am able to stop moving long enough to hear from and wait for God to move. When I am super busy and active, He cannot move on my behalf. It is in my still moments that God is near and He is working in the best of ways.

This past weekend as my body rested, my soul had its joy restored. I lounged in pajamas all weekend and slept when my body requested it. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, and relieved myself when nature called (a beautiful gift to all educators!). Yet the best part of the weekend was being surrounded by love.

Love from my Love.
Love from my Lord.
Love from me to M.E.

Many things are happening this month and of them all, my heart is rejoicing in the continuance of God’s grace.

Let’s continue to pray and grow together.
Let’s also continue to rest to restore. (And don’t apologize about it 🙂 )

Be blessed.