I deserve… to be honest with myself.

My heart is hurting a bit today. Between realizing that the town that my job is located in is very racist and finally doing something that God had been hinting at for some time, my heart hurts and I just want to sit in a corner somewhere and drink ginger tea. When I was younger, my mother used to give me ginger tea to heal a multitude of gastrointestinal issues and as an adult, I value the effects of ginger and I run towards it.

I digress.

As I sit in my own honesty, I have to admit that God’s plans and my plans seldom align and I often want Him to choose my way. Right now, He and I are on different pages regarding my life and that’s where the heartache comes into play. I recognize that He is God and that He is sovereign, but sometimes I wish He would bend to my desires.

Yes, I realize that life does not work that way. As our Father and Creator, God knows what’s best for us and everything that He allows to happen is for our good. But sometimes it just hurts like hell.

To be even more honest (because I feel like that’s something that I can be with you), it is very hard for me to concentrate and write today so I’m going to bow out early. I do solicit your prayers today and ask that you pray for my healing and acceptance of God’s plan. No more details at this time, but I just ask that you continue to pray for and with me.

Be blessed, Beloved. God loves you and so do I.

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