Sometimes…

I’m sorry; but sometimes I do not want to hear your joyfulness and glee.
Sometimes I just want to wallow in my own issues.
Yeah, I know it’s not helpful or healthy, but it feels good sometimes.

Sometimes I just want to cuddle up in my bed and pretend that adulting was never invented.
I want to just throw away my cell phone, my alarm clock, and my responsibilities sometimes.
Yeah, I know it’s not realistic or possible, but it feels good sometimes.

Sometimes I sit in my car, ignoring whatever reality lies on the other side of the door.
I even walk and roam the aisles of Walmart sometimes to clear my mind without driving too far.
Yeah, I know it’s crazy and a waste of time, but it feels good sometimes.

Sometimes I just look out of my window and imagine any other life but the one I’m living.
I dream of my life as a princess, without my current cares, sometimes.
Yeah, I know it’s childish and pointless, but it feels good sometimes.

Sometimes life is too overwhelming.
It gets too hard to deal with all of the demands and changes of the world, sometimes.
Sometimes I think to disappear for good, escaping to a desert island for peace and relaxation.
The solution to problems is avoidance, I think, sometimes.

But then I close my eyes, and I see life.
I see the sun of my Butterfly’s smile or the sun setting in the sky and I feel renewed.
I think on the good things of life and I feel whole.
The emptiness of yesterday passes away, and newness in today reigns free.
Wounds heal and scars fade; everything becomes new.
Love blossoms and hope blooms.

Sometimes life is too hard to bear.
Yet sometimes, albeit most of the time, the pain has purpose.

Sometimes I just want to run and cower.
But sometimes, I run straight ahead and embrace it all.

7 responses to “Sometimes…”

  1. Ronnie Avatar
    Ronnie

    Awesome! I relate to all of your sometimey moments! (And practice them too!) I’m so honored to be a close eyewitness to what God is doing and shall continue to manifest in your being! Much love!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GodHappenedToME Avatar

      Thank you, Pastor! I had a totally different message planned but as I sat at the computer, this is what came out. Love you much!

      Like

  2. phyllsmo Avatar

    “Sometimes I wonder, where I am, who I am, do I fit in; make believing is hrs alone..out here on my own.” ~Lyrics from Fame.

    Although most would not admit, mostly from fear of being judged. But it’s true, and refreshing but for a moment to feel this way. I think it helps you transition from moments of despair, to hope again.

    ~Monique

    Liked by 1 person

    1. phyllsmo Avatar

      Oops..”make believing is HARD alone”

      Like

    2. GodHappenedToME Avatar

      I completely agree with you. We let fear of judgment stop us from being authentic, hiding behind pain and discomfort. Let’s just be real!

      Like

  3. PeacefulPCE Avatar

    Beautiful

    I can relate to them all..

    Sometimes I wish the struggle will just end

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GodHappenedToME Avatar

      Sometimes I wish there was no struggle at all…

      Like

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